Harvest Time

Since it was Halloween, I thought we were going to be jacking up this lantern. Instead.....

This is me artificially inseminating the lantern.

I really should have worn a glove for that!

About 9 weeks after the lantern is inseminated, it has hundreds of baby lanterns.

You have to make sure you keep the black eyed peas out of the lantern patch. They'll take over everything.

Sometimes you get a bad lantern, such as this morbidly obese fellow.

The good lanterns get cooked down in a big pot like this and then made into delicious pies. You have to make sure that no bad lanterns get put in the pot because.....

The side effects can be devastating!

Once consciousness is regained, a defamatory hand signal is typical.

Any contaminated pies get fed to the big, mean, yet rediculously handsome, hungry dragon.

After a busy day, I always like to wind down with a little dog fighting.

Come here daddy. You know this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. You get one smack for every minute you went over this month! As for the rest you; you'll get the same if my christmas presents aren't up to par! See Ya!

Cuter By the Day

This is my money shot!

I dont' know how maw-maw and pop fit in this "his and her" bathtub!

But mommy and daddy don't use flaxseed oil!

I thought this was a speed boat. We're going 7 miles per hour.

Yesterday, I caught a fish that was 6 feet long!

Ok, it might have been 4 ft long.

Well, maybe it was 2 feet long.

Ok, FINE, the fish was 4 inches long.

Good thing there weren't any cops around. This would have been a T.T.D.U.I.W.P.Z.O.H.T. for sure. (Tiny tot driving under the influence while pop zones out and hits a tree)

Ohh! I must of tripped over the 80's. I think they want their tie-dyed onesie back.

I swear Taylor, the fish was this big!

Why ya'll eyeballin' my milk?!

Now I lay me down to sleep, and pray the Lord my soul to keep.....

Seriously mom; that better not be below the waist!

Here, let me take a picture of you naked!

Daddy, are you sure it wasn't a bad dream? I checked and there are no monsters under your bed.

I was told to enjoy it while I can. Daddy tried this last night and mommy smacked him with a belt.

I'm getting sleepy, so I think it's about time to go

I'll catch you cats later!

I'm Big and Better than ever

Sorry it's been so long. Daddy has been suffering from my grains. I don't know why he has to eat my cereal.

Psssst.......I'm one
Since we last spoke; I recently purchased my first home. Mom and Dad were getting a bit clingy

I just wanted to wear my birthday suit, but I do like the message

Look, mom's pretty handy too

For disciplinary reasons, what exactly can I do? Anything I want?

Yeah, this is awesome!!

Pop, can I help?

Hey, Pop hit me in the forehead with a hammer, can we please go to the hospital!

See, you can't even see where the bump was!

Dude, proactiv will clear that right up

Want to see a magic trick? Watch the floating spoon carefully; Now you see it....

And presto, all gone!

Can I please stop practicing now, I can't feel my fingers

Hey, I found a sweettart....

.....Nope, definitely a ladybug!

See ya soon!

Getting Big

Hello, I just wanted to welcome you back to my website. My ego thanks you.


Hey, I see you! Come a little closer to the monitor.




NO, get back! Step away from the monitor!

Ok, pay attention. Look at me. Now look at the date in the bottom right corner. Now look behind me. Yes, that IS a christmas tree! Do you see what I have to live with.

Baby yoga is no joke! I can't feel my legs.

Is it smell my finger or taste my finger? I can't ever remember.

Milk prices went up again?! Somebody needs to get this bovine spongiform encephalopathy under control. I need my cheese!

I'm the founder and president of Phi Slamma Jamma

Two category 4 hurricanes, Aileen and Bob, are picking up speed and intensity. The situation is looking a little hairy.

First my TV shows and now my books too! This daggum spanish is infecting everything. I no sepa what to do with yo mismo. Oh Crap!

Not exactly the super hero costume I was hoping for. Who am I, Janitor Man?

Jesus?

Oh dear, I feel a toot coming on

Oh yeh, that's plain Nasty!

Ha Ha, baby in a basket. That's sooo not cliched.

Bryce was caught late last night Resisting A Rest